Reviews by Writer Dan

Buzz, buzz, buzz. Can you hear it? Bees? you wonder, but no. Not bees. Did someone leave the stereo speakers on? No. Not that. Huh. Then what? I’ll tell you what. It’s the buzz of advertisement. Every once in a while we see it pop up. There’s some new book or author that gets people talking and soon it’s all over the place and everyone wants to know more. There was a bundle for NAME OF THE WIND, a grip for TOME OF THE UNDERGATES, and yes there was enough for this book that I got caught up by it. Thus.
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The Wild West. Dusty towns. Empty streets. Tumbleweed rollin’ ‘cross the prairie. Tombstone, Arizona. Ain’t nothin that better describes it. But this ain’t no normal town. No. It’s got electric cars. Magic Indians. Undead and vicious monsters alike. Read em all and weep, people, cause Resnick’s come to town.

THE BUNTLINE SPECIAL (Amazon) is a weird Wild West tale stripped out of the historical annals of the region and twisted to decent effect by the master of science fiction, Mike Resnick. Think “electro-punk western” and you won’t be far off.
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THE HAMMER (Amazon) is KJ Parker’s third stand-alone book since the completion of her Engineer Trilogy, all of which have ostensibly been set in the same fantasy world. Though, if you know anything about her past works, you’ll know that her fantasy (fantastic as it is) isn’t necessarily “fantastical”, as magic is curiously absent throughout most of them. The thing that they do have though is character, and setting, and story. This is one of the many reasons why I love her stuff so much. Just good reading. Well, that, and they make me laugh.
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STALKING THE DRAGON by Mike Resnick (Amazon) is apparently the third in the John Justin Mallory series of fantastical detective stories. It was reprinted by Pyr a bit ago, and I hadn’t read a whole lot by Resnick, so thought I’d pick it up.

Our story starts out with a brief intro of Mallory, the detective and main character of our story, staring into a magical mirror on Valentine’s Day and getting ready to take his partner out to dinner. Then this big, hulk of a man with horns on his head hires Mallory to find his prize-winning, toy dragon by 4pm the following day, at which time it’s supposed to compete in a pet show (think dog-show and you won’t be far off). Normal detective-like happenings ensue.
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You know what I’m getting tired of? Book covers that have absolutely nothing to do with the content of the book. I get the whole “first impression” bit. I understand the very essential concept of getting a potential buyer to just pick up the book. I also know that publishing books is a business. But honestly? The amount of false advertising present on book covers today just ticks me off. Then again, I have no idea what kind of cover might have persuaded me to pick this book up in the first place had it had only dealt with the concepts presented therein, and not been entirely based on a metaphor of the story instead. So, a quandary for you: False-advertising? Or no sales? Option number three, if you ask me.
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To all those looking for my review of this book, I have two words for you:

talking cats

THE END

Oh, hold on, my phone’s ringing…

((beep, beep, boop, eep, eep, boop, oop))

((…ring))

((…ring …click))

Hey, Steve. How’s it going?

((wah))

Cool. So yeah, I just finished reading that POISON THRONE (Amazon) book you guys gave me and I’m throwing a complete blank on how to write the review for it because just about nothing happened in the whole thing. I–

((wah, wah, waah?))

Yeah, really. Nothing. Well, nothing interesting anyhow.
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Right from the moment you pick up a Dan Simmons novel and first set eyes upon the page, you know you’re in for a whole new kind of reading experience. It took me an entire paragraph (yes, the first one, because it’s just that obvious) to realize this would be the case. There is detail, flow and a sense of perfection in the way Simmons has crafted the first scene in BLACK HILLS (Amazon), and I have to admit that I readily gobbled down every delicious bite of it. What’s more, I found that I continued to devour the pages by great sheaves despite the growing concerns niggling at the back of my neck.

Dude can write.
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You know that kid that you grew up with? The one that dressed like he lived in an abandoned trailer park, who was always talking about death and fire and explosions? He’d creep out your parents, and always get away with the worst things, and the girls you wanted all seemed to go ga-ga every time he walked by?

Well this story is not about that guy.
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THE QUEEN OF SINISTER (Amazon) is the second book in the Dark Age Trilogy by fantasy author Mark Chadbourn. This trilogy is the second of three that tells of the time when the boundaries between our world and next have run thin and allowed Celtic gods and nightmares of legend to cross over. If you caught my review of THE DEVIL IN GREEN (EBR Review), the first of this trilogy, you’ll probably understand that I was a bit hesitant going into this book. Like a good reviewer though, I dove into it with my eyes and arms open, hoping for some goodness, because I just love you that much. Ah, the things we do for you…
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THE SWORD OF THE DAWN (Amazon) is the third of four novellas by Michael Moorcock in his Hawkmoon collection. The four of these: THE JEWEL IN THE SKULL (Amazon), THE MAD GOD’S AMULET (Amazon), and yet to come finale, THE RUNESTAFF (Amazon) are getting singular reprints by Tor and from what I’ve read here are just some good, old-fashioned, fantasy adventure.
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