Archived posts

The Rest of Them

Posted: July 29, 2009 in Uncategorized

Vanessa-Vanessa is the mother of three young children, so not only is it impossible to surprise her, it also takes some considerable antics to impress her (EBR is on the right track, but it remains to be seen…). She’s raising up her brood right, though, because the next generation of geeks cannot be trained on Star Wars alone.
Favorite Authors: Lois McMaster Bujold, Robin McKinley, Patricia Briggs, Jim Butcher, Robert Jordan, Judith Merkle Riley
Dan-Currently a graduate student in the esoteric art of rocket science simulation, he spends his days beating his computer to a pulp and/or gnashing his teeth through copious mounds of technical publications. Nights are split between more of the same (glutton for punishment, this one) or writing his own fantasy fiction. He never sleeps. Father of three perfect children that all want to grow up to be just like him: tall, smart, and good-looking. Reading awesome books fills his down time, with a focus on those that are […]Read the rest of this post »

Contact Us

Posted: in Uncategorized

Because we know you are dying to talk to us. Literally.
If you have been mulling over a book for a while now, and you just don’t know if you should spend your hard-earned moolah, shoot us an email. Chances are we have either read it already, own it, or have been wondering about that title ourselves. If the book looks like it sucks too much, and we can’t even get close to it without vomiting a little, we’ll try to get a guest-reviewer.
Note: We don’t review self-published stuff 99.999% of the time. We just don’t have the time. Between our actual jobs and the hundreds of books we get from the major publishers, we just can’t.
Contact us at

Elitist University

Posted: in Elitist University

Here is a central location for all of the courses in the Fantasy genre.
FANTASY 101: An introductory course on a few choices for books to enter the genre. We disagree on the best approach, but that works out better for you since you get two different, but equally viable options.
FANTASY 102: A very brief selection of other subgenres in the Fantasy section of speculative fiction. We recommend a number of YA, Steampunk, or Urban Fantasy here.
FANTASY 201: 6 books that we think you should absolutely read to further your fantasy book education. And what we think is law.
FANTASY 202: Primarily a step into the Horror genre, and a small explanation of what exactly the horror part of the fantasy genre is.
FANTASY 301: This is where the learning curve jumps, but where the reward is the greatest. These are our favorite books in the genre. Period.
Here are our listings for our courses in the subject of Science Fiction:
SCIENCE FICTION 101: Hey, everyone has to start somewhere […]Read the rest of this post »

Who the Heck are These Guys?

Posted: in Uncategorized

Welcome to Elitist Book Reviews
So who are we?
Just a couple of people with much better taste in books than you.
So, we figured since all our friends, our family, our acquaintances, and even random strangers in bookstores (including, sadly, the employees of the bookstores) come to us for book advice, that we may as well give this kind of advice on a psuedo-professional level.
We post reviews primarily for Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Mystery novels, but really we read whatever the heck we want. Our reviews will be posted during the week, with the weekends as our time to relax.
We hope you enjoy the spoiler-free reviews, and we will do our best to best to tell you what books to either avoid, borrow, or buy. You should do exactly what we say.
And in case you are wondering, we will be brutal, and we will be mean if we don’t like the book. That’s part of the fun isn’t it?


Posted: in Uncategorized

Steve is your typical reader of books who loves to tell you what is good and, more importantly, what he hates. He grew up reading Lloyd Alexander, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Terry Brooks. Then he got a job at a Waldenbooks. In addition to improving his literary tastes, he was soon doing a lot of the managing duties there, and helped that particular store become the Numero Uno ranked store in the country. It was during this time that he decided his taste in books was better than everyone else’s (duh), and his customers/friends/family agreed.
Steve is the Editor of Elitist Book Reviews.
Favorite Authors: Steven Erikson, Tom Lloyd, Jonathan Maberry, Brian Lumley, Joe Abercrombie, James Barclay, Chris Wooding, Sarah Pinborough
Steve is an aspiring author himself. If you’d like to check out his published works, you can buy them here (they are awesome! Honest!):
“Fear” – Contained in THIS ANTHOLOGY WAS WRITTEN IN AN HOUR.“Still Life” – Contained in […]Read the rest of this post »

Guest Reviewers

Posted: in Uncategorized

Nick “Slamel” Dianatkah is a co-founder of EBR.
Favorite Authors: R. Scott Bakker, Joe Abercrombie, Scott Lynch, George R. R. Martin, J.V. Jones
Ayn – Ayn is our really good friend Rob. Rob has a way with words that few people we know (and we know a LOT) are able to employ. He is passionate about his reading and writing and therefore was a perfect fit for our team.
Fellfrosch – You know him as Dan Wells, the author of some of our favorite novels, I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER, MR. MONSTER, and I DON’T WANT TO KILL YOU. In our midst, we affectionately call him Dan the Jerk-face, or Dan the Cylon. Check out his site at


I Am Not A Serial Killer

Posted: August 1, 2009 by Alan in Books We Love Tags: Dan Wells, Horror, Young Adult

Dan Wells has crafted something extraordinary with his first novel, I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. Our opinions are obviously superior to the rest, so you should believe us without question.

John Wayne Cleaver is the protagonist of the book, and as you find out very early on, he isn’t your average teenager. His troubles go much deeper than most, and are much more serious. You see, he worries that he might become a serial killer. He has all the tendencies of a sociopath, and he is very aware of how dangerous they are.Read the rest of this review »


The Blade Itself

Welcome to another completely superior review by us guys here at Elitist Book Reviews. The chosen book this time around is THE BLADE ITSELF by Joe Abercrombie.

THE BLADE ITSELF is a refreshing first novel in what we would call a dark fantasy trilogy. Abercrombie gives us a cast of characters that that have even more attitude than we do–no easy feat. Included in this cast we have a crippled torturer as a main character. Tell us, how often do we get to see a torturer as a main PoV in epic fantasy now days? Awesome.Read the rest of this review »


The City and The City

Read on for our completely incredible opinions on THE CITY AND THE CITY by China Miéville.

China Miéville is an author who doesn’t settle for one genre. He has sampled many, many different genres, and somehow manages to give them each a unique creative style all their own. While many might argue what genre to lock Mr. Miéville in, we at Elitist Book Reviews think he is nearly as awesome as we are and doesn’t need to be bound to a single style.

While THE CITY AND THE CITY is a fairly large departure from his previous works, Mieville blends the familiar and the unknown together to create a believable mystery. The protagonist, Tyador Borlú, loves his city and country of Beszel, and works there as a police inspector.Read the rest of this review »



Posted: August 3, 2009 by Steven in Books We Like Tags: Brandon Sanderson, Epic Fantasy

warbreaker copyThere is this guy named Brandon Sanderson, and if you read fantasy with any regularity, you know who he is. If you don’t know who he is, you should really read more. Seriously. Not only is he the talent in epic fantasy, he is finishing the WHEEL OF TIME for the late Robert Jordan. Sanderson is a gifted author, and WARBREAKER, his newest novel, shows why.

Color (as in dyes, etc) is power. A person’s breath let’s them breathe life to inanimate objects. A talking sword that begs to kill things. Sound like an intriguing magic system? It should. Sanderson has made quite a name for himself by inventing unique and enjoyable magic systems. WARBREAKER essentially starts with the wrong, untrained daughter of a king being sent to another country to prevent a war from breaking. A great start to a great novel.Read the rest of this review »